I am a Junior, majoring in International Law and Global Entrepreneurship. Now I can say that I know things with a little bit of bragging, but when I was younger, I can’t be more naïve. When I entered college, everything seems so bright and funny. Even though I was having a bad time, I believed that there will be a silver lining. And it always comes back around. But then I had to face the downside of being selfless and not ready.
As I am a bilingual and sort of cheerful all the time, I could have many chances to serve people in my RC and Department. I served as a co-leader of Prof. Buzby’s team when I was a freshman. Then the very next semester, I became a leader of Prof. Abraham’s team. My life back then was horrible. I am not saying that my mates are bad nor my professor, but myself was having trouble in every scene of the life. Most of my friends left Handong and already started new lives in other countries. But, I was thinking that time, I am still here, knowing nothing, have no particular outstanding skill. Even the time of serving as a staff, prayer leader or team leader, I felt so empty and ashamed of myself. I could say that I had the most terrible 2 years of my life – I even had numerous serious conversation about quitting school here with my parents.
Then it was always my freshmen team members and good seniors who always lead me to a right way. Actually, I can strongly say that it was God’s will. I was giving myself too little time of rest and did not pay attention to me. I forgot to take care of myself because I was too busy with “other things”. And here is something that I want to tell to the leaders – Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Maybe we are too obsessed with the idea that we have to be perfect and care everyone in this community. To be honest, we can’t be Jesus. What I am saying is that without the time alone with God and looking after oneself, we will fail in the end and lost the way in the middle. All the works and servings are the challenges for us to be like Him, not be Him. I am here today writing this column as a team leader of Prof. Hamm’s team. Frankly, I’ve never met such good members like this. They are willing to help and gathered. Yes, I am so blessed, but I don’t think that this is something that has earned naturally. I could have met these wonderful people because I am ready to serve. Just as God uses Israelites as a path of blessing, God uses us, leaders, as a tool to gather community one in Christ. Yet, if we are not ready to serve, then we will lose many sheep. So I wanted to suggest many leaders at Handong to take care of themselves first and get ready for the challenge. For the time that He uses us as tools of Blessings.

“Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” – Matthew 20:28

Haley Kim(School of Law 15)